All parents want their child to study perfectly well, but what if he doesn’t really want to, but doesn’t want to study at all?
A kind of little bummer who takes a book in his hands is like digging a garden. This is where parents start to wonder what to do?
Try to force the child by force, as children are all prone to protest, so this way is unlikely to save the situation. We will understand together.
The child does not want to learn: the causes and everything connected with them
There is an option that your child from childhood does not like unpacking a backpack and looking at the ill-fated diary, but the situation is completely different if the desire for learning, even if not very strong, stopped suddenly. So, for no reason at all, your child begins to declare that he does not want to go to school, there is no desire to teach something, and there are no good grades.
• Abilities of the child do not match the level of the school curriculum
Do not rush to be indignant and say that your baby is the best. No one denies this, but have you seen his school books yourself? Tried to solve a couple of tasks? Try it! Sometimes the information written there can lead to a dead-end Ph.D., not like a child. We will talk about what to do in such a situation a bit later, but for now let's see what else a child may lose the desire to learn.
• He needs motivation
How often do you praise a child for his progress? Do you encourage him? And we are talking not only about the fives. Say "Vasya, you're great!" it is not only insufficient, it does not give any action at all. Hearing the standard phrases of praise from the parents, the child is not particularly proud of his achievements, especially when the mother listens to him half-heartedly about the victory in the school competition or competition and between "Bring a bow for borscht" and "We need to go to the dentist tomorrow," says unintelligible "Good well done son ".
• No interest in certain subjects.
Even the most capable child can not know everything. Some quite skillfully manage to maneuver between school subjects and teach a little of everything, but what if your child is not one of them? There is absolutely nothing bad about it if he pays more attention to studying some lessons even to the detriment of others, however much the teacher would repeat. Of course, for each teacher his subject is the most-most, but why should you harass a child with quarrels over another biology troika? Remember yourself in school years, did you succeed in everything? You know the joke: "When a child started something, remember yourself at his age, stroke the baby on the head and go drink your valerian".
• Do not develop relationships with classmates
How many parents know about the child’s personal relationships with classmates? If you say the truth, then almost nothing. This news definitely certainly upset those who believe that they have full control over the child’s life in all areas, but this is by no means the case. All that we know about this is the information obtained from the words of the child himself, who can embellish everything so that parents do not worry, or school teachers, who often know only that the wall newspaper must be painted by Masha and Olya, because that Anya Olya is not friendly.
• Unfavorable atmosphere within the family
When we look for the reason for the child’s reluctance to do homework, for some reason, we are the last to remember that it may be uncomfortable for him to be at home ?! Frequent quarrels in the family or parents who are constantly not in the mood because of problems at work - not the best motivation for the kid. Every child wants to return to the house where comfort, joy and peace reign, even if he does not realize it.
• Increased activity
Today, it is increasingly possible to meet in school hyperactive child. Many perceive them as ordinary fidgets and pests, but in fact, a hyperactive child needs a special approach and attention. Problems in learning such a baby - not news!
• Diverted to gadgets
This is one of the most popular reasons for not wanting to study today. It is much more interesting to go to tanchiki, look at pictures on social networks and send messages with friends. Tablets, phones, computers, and others like them - in any case should not be in constant access lazy. While there is an opportunity to choose: studies or toys - the lazy will choose toys!
The child does not want to learn. Where to run? What to do?
Recall the good old words "Prevention is better than cure." When the child is still quite small, parents can make big mistakes, because of which in the future they will panicly grab their heads.
• Let's start from childhood
The first and most important mistake is to teach and force the child to read, write, teach instead of instilling in him a love for the learning process itself. Quite often, parents need exactly the results, specific indicators. The child learns all the above skills in an accelerated mode, attends a bunch of tutors, sprinkles over lessons for several hours from elementary school. And what we get in the end? We get a little man who is already sitting in his throat, and who at some point may just break down, looking at how classmates after class go to chase the ball, and he has an extra lesson in English.
Therefore, since childhood, try to make the learning process pleasant for the child. Engage with him. This does not mean that you have to give him a bunch of tasks, even with detailed instructions for implementation, and you have to go and cook the soup yourself. Sit with him, explain everything incomprehensible, praise. Be sure to encourage! Did you write dictation? We go to the ice cream! Solved a couple of math problems? Ida in the water park! In this case, the study will bring the child a real pleasure.
• Based on the cause
If the school program is not suitable for the child
This situation is not at all hopeless.
First, why did you decide that your child should be a genius? Of course, everyone around them strongly suggests that if your child is not a child prodigy, then the parent of you is so-so. But please take a look at your child and see that he is not guilty of the high questions of society. He wants to enjoy life, and sit on textbooks from morning till night.
If we did not convince you, you can hire a tutor. Notice one! Sometimes, at one point, parents come to realize that a child is learning poorly. Here, in one splendid evening, you look at the diary of your child and realize - everything, he is a lifelong Losers, what to do, what to do ?! So at the same time it is not necessary to immediately hire tutors in almost all subjects and load the child into the throat.
No motivation
It's all easier. For a start, you can come up with some kind of reward for a child for good grades and high achievements. Going to the cinema on the weekend for the top five in Russian or buying a puppy for a certain number of fives per semester. At least at least praise the child. The method of "carrot and stick" is very useful here, because parents often forget about that same carrot. Scold the child for a deuce and limit his access to a computer is much easier than to allocate a couple of hours in his busy schedule, so that his whole family can walk around the park and eat cotton candy.
Good grades only for certain subjects.
In fact, this minus is rather a plus. If a child focuses only on specific objects, it is very good, because it indicates that he has found himself. Isn't it great? Wouldn't that be what you would like? Now a huge number of children finish school with ignorance of where to go next, whom to become, in what area you can show yourself. Therefore, if your child in two accounts can solve the most difficult task in mathematics, but the essays in Russian are difficult for him, this is not a reason to press a child with indignations, but a reason:
a) give him extra motivation;
b) hire a tutor.
Quarrels with classmates
When a child doesn’t have a class relationship, the desire to go to school disappears very quickly. In this case, absenteeism is possible, a sharp decline in academic performance, often a distressed child.
If you understand that this is the case, try talking to him. This can be incredibly difficult, especially if you almost never frank, but now it is especially necessary. One small nuance: do not hope that you can earn the trust of a child in one hour by sharing with him some story from childhood or saying the words "You must trust me, because I am your mother, I only wish you the best." Do you really think that after this, the child must miraculously see in you a great relationship guru and cling to your shoulder asking for advice? It does not happen, and if it does, it is only when the child himself thought about whether it is not worth telling his parents about everything.
Start spending more time with him, chat, tell something interesting, think about your school years. In the process of such a simple and open communication, a child who really has some problems will no doubt want to share them with a loved one. And here it is all up to you - how to solve these problems. Only in no case start disassembling with the child’s friends and classmates, with their parents and school teachers. This will humiliate your own baby. Now you read about it and think that the maximum cause of the quarrel could be some kind of nonsense like a step or innocuous gossip. But sometimes school stories are able to surprise from the most unpleasant side, therefore, having learned something shocking from a child, do not start panic, do not bulge eyes and do not rush to run somewhere looking for help. All your work should be directed to the child. If he decided to tell you everything, it means that a belief was born in him, a belief that you would not betray you, that you could understand and help. Justify his hope!
Family problems
Imagine the situation. A child overjoyed returns home - won the most difficult Olympiad in world literature! His happiness has no limits, and the smile is stretched to the ears, he already imagines how you strangle him in your arms and pour words of praise. But it was not there! It turns out that papa is a job at work for dad, he is nervous back home, as a result of which he quarreled with his mother and yelled at other children. Now in the house no one is talking to anyone and everyone is offended at each other. What do you think, what conclusion will this child, who shone with joy just a minute ago? Of course, he will decide that his successes are all on the drum, that his achievements do not interest anyone, and it was not worth trying so hard.
Remember, the child is not guilty that today you have a bad mood, it is raining on the street, and the salary is delayed for two weeks. He spent the whole day at the school desk, dreaming of returning home, where he was welcome and where he was expected. Ensure this joy by all means!
Hyperactivity
You need to be able to see the difference between just a restless and hyperactive child. A psychologist can help determine this. If you know that you have a hyperactive child, then in order to increase your academic performance, give the child to the section for fighting / dancing / aerobics, and wherever you want, if only he would spend his excess energy there.
5 simple tips for raising a child who does not want to learn
Raising a child is a whole art. In this rather long process, you will find many surprises and difficulties, but all of them can be overcome. Here are some universal rules that will help you raise a child without worry.
1. Always stay for a baby friend. Tell him about the interesting things that happened during the day, share the news, jokes. In this case, he will always trust you and the first to find out about any problems is not a secret friend in a forum on the Internet, to which your child turned for help, but you.
2. In any, even the most critical situations related to studies, find out the reason first, and only then sort it out. Acting in the reverse order leads to very negative consequences.
3. Do not compare the child with others, neither personally nor publicly. Your child is unique, do not try to drive him into the generally accepted framework of success.
4. Don't get lost on a child - never! Even if at the most inopportune moment he approached you with some kind of request or news, you should never reject the baby. It's not his fault that you are not in the mood!
5. Solve problems with the child, and not with others. Everything should be presented to him as if he himself was solving his own problems. If troubles with friends, explain how he should behave in order to improve relations with peers, and not call their mothers. The child must see in you a wise adviser, and not a person who is trying to get into his own space.
We hope that these tips will help you become a real authority for your child.
Directing immeasurable love for the child in the right direction, you can get very good results!
