Perhaps you have long guessed everything or, conversely, did not notice anything suspicious.
They always preferred total control, and maybe complete trust. They kept their spouse in austere gauntlets or cater to his every whim.
But be that as it may, it was you who happened to be afraid of every married woman: the husband went to his mistress, and what to do next is absolutely not clear.
You are overwhelmed and overwhelmed, excessive pain and resentment overwhelm. The same questions are spinning in my head: "How could he? What is wrong with me? How is she better?" From self-pity, the heart is broken, and in the soul, hatred wakes up - towards the husband and, especially, towards her husband. And how is she, unscrupulous, only the earth wears?
Unfortunately, you are not the first and not the last. Your feelings are familiar to many women.. Some were able to cope with them, others for a long time mired in depression. But remember, your future is now only in your hands. And let life be divided into "before" and "after", still be sure to get better, but only if you yourself want it!
What not to do if the husband went to his mistress
Now you are very hard, and this is absolutely normal. But in any case, do not get used to the role of the victim. After all, it also happens that some abandoned wives for years, for decades looking for pity and sympathy from others, blaming all of their failures and hardships of the former husband: from the blow. She didn’t marry anymore, did not give birth to children. She eked out a miserable, miserable existence, because during the divorce he took everything away.
Understand that you can not shift the responsibility for their fate on her husband. Everyone is responsible for himself! Schedule task one - get out of depression. And to make it happen as soon as possible, work hard on yourself.
In addition, in no case do not lose self-esteem. In order not to lose the respect of others, with all your might follow the following rules.
Do not make a showdown with the spouse's mistress. Do not look for a meeting or communication with her. Constructive dialogue still will not work. It is unlikely that she will be interested in your arguments about how much you connect with your husband. She needs to take care, first of all, about herself and her well-being, and not about some other lady and her feelings.
Most likely, you will not be able to resist insults or even physical assault, and then you will regret what happened. Especially terrible if you throw a scandal in a public place. For example, you will come to the head to come to your mistress at work. In this case, the girl’s colleagues are unlikely to understand and sympathize with you. You'll be a laughing stock for them, arrange a free show, over which for a long time everyone will make fun.
Do not contact close relatives. Some wives do not go directly to their mistress, they go to her parents or some other relatives in the hope that, having entered into a position, they will affect the situation. Remember, these people will never be by your side.
They love their daughter, sister, aunt, niece, mother — in a word, the woman your family broke up with. They don’t care about you.
Do not stoop to a man. Do not beg your husband to return, do not fall on his knees in front of him, do not make tantrums, do not threaten to end your life. Do not refuse to divorce, if the spouse requires divorce. All these actions will cause a man only a feeling of disgust to you. But your pain and disappointment in your partner, just do not hide. It is impossible to just say to him calmly, write a text message or a message on the social network, without falling to the dirt and insults.
Do not complain to the first comer. Now you, more than ever, want to speak out, however, do not try to share the problem with everyone. One is not interested in others, others have enough of their worries, others still laugh behind their backs. Limit the circle of initiates of what happened to their closest friends and relatives, trust trouble only to those whom you are sure of.
Do not try to forget using alcohol. When the husband goes to his mistress, some women try to suppress despair with alcohol. Indeed, after drinking, you can temporarily force out feelings from your head, but with a hangover, the pain will certainly return, but with a vengeance. In addition, binge has a nasty ability to quickly become a habit, completely depriving its fans of beauty, health, success, good relations of others.
Do not go over men. Do not try to quickly find a husband a replacement. Now it is difficult for you to objectively evaluate young people. Do not try to prove your relevance to the opposite sex, occasionally appearing in public in the company of different men. So you can easily deprive yourself of a good reputation that will negatively affect future relationships.
Do not impose your ex-lover. First, put yourself and your thoughts in order, and then adjust your personal life.
Do not make excuses. Do not try every time to explain to the curious reason why your husband went to his mistress. None: "I did everything for him, cooked, cleaned, washed, blew off dust particles, ironed him in bed, and he was not enough."
Whatever you say, there will be those who say that husbands do not leave good wives. Do not prove to them otherwise, it is useless. Answer the uncomfortable question briefly and dryly: "It just happened."
Do not apply to psychics and fortunetellers. They tell the same story to all abandoned wives that the rival unwittingly bewitched the man, and he left you not on his own will, but under the compulsion of impure forces. That it is important to fight with a love spell, otherwise it will be bad for both you and your husband, and all generations of offspring.
Rites to remove the spell are always not cheap, they must be carried out repeatedly. And you even allegedly start to notice some results from their implementation, but in reality you just fill the pockets of the so-called magicians and wizards with your own savings, and in return listen to fairy tales and hope for the best.
Do not follow the life of the husband and his new chosen one. Do not find out the details of the relationship of the spouse and his passion through mutual friends. Of course, you will be pleased to know that doves in love are constantly quarreling. But if they are fine, and they seem to be made for each other? Would you like this information? Do not view their shared photos on social networks. Do not tear the soul, do not make yourself even more painful.
How to return to normal life when the husband went to his mistress
Even when the heart is torn from pain and despair, you need to find the strength to go on.
You need to slowly but surely get rid of negative emotions, learn to notice as much good as possible, smile more often.
To recover after what happened, first of all, get busy.
• Rate the benefits of a free life. The husband went to his mistress, what advantages could there be? And you remember all his negative qualities. If he liked to drink and raise a hand on you, consider his departure a great success. You just got rid of the tyrant. Spouse scattered dirty socks and did not let you watch TV shows? But now in your house is always neat and clean, and you watch TV when you want.
• Analyze your fears. If separation is unavoidable, many fears arise in the head, most of which are completely unjustified. You are afraid to be left alone forever, to not have the opportunity to live in dignity financially, you are afraid of condemnation from others because of your inability to maintain strong family relationships.
Your fears are contrived. You will be able to provide for yourself, you will find a worthy partner in life and you will be happy, like many other women who have experienced treason and difficult divorce.
• Draw conclusions. Nobody calls you to engage in self-digging, but nevertheless it is necessary to get certain conclusions from the current situation, so as not to repeat past mistakes with other men. Maybe you originally chose the wrong person? Or did your husband's patience endure for a long time, and he left you in search of more respect?
Perhaps you allowed him too much, and he always acted as he liked, contrary to your feelings? Try to understand what you did wrong, and having understood, do not blame yourself for anything. Not you, but your husband did not want to work on relationships, he preferred to run away instead of struggling with the difficulties arising in the family.
• Hope for higher powers. If you believe in God, attend church, it will help you to let go of your spouse in peace and forgive. If you are not too devout, just hope for the boomerang rule. You will be rewarded for all the suffering and tears, and the offenders will ever get theirs. This position will help you not to resort to revenge and thereby not to break the wood.
• Visit the forums. There you can anonymously share your misfortune with people, get support, advice and recommendations. However, be prepared to meet the opposite of your position, accusations of something, rudeness. But it is even good. In disputes, you will be able to throw out negative emotions, let off steam, swear.
• Raise your self-esteem. It may seem to you as if everyone is looking askance at you. Even if this is so, lift your head up, proudly straighten your shoulders, boldly look people in the face. Now it is very important to be constantly confident in yourself. Watch your appearance, apply make-up, create hairstyles, go on a diet, go in for fitness.
Do everything to feel attractive, while avoiding too frank, screaming about sexual dissatisfaction attire.
• Take a break. Go on a visit and go shopping, start repairing the apartment, arrange general cleaning, read books, bake cakes - do everything to distract yourself from sad thoughts. Staying alone with yourself, remember the pleasant moments from childhood, first love, funny animals. Look for a positive, in one word.
What to do if the husband went to his mistress, leaving you without financial support
Especially morally difficult after parting accounts for those women who are accustomed to be dependent on her husband.
If your family has always been the main earner, understand everything has changed.
Do not wait for handouts from your spouse, do not sit on the neck of your relatives, take action yourself.
Force yourself to look for a job, write a resume, go to an interview. If you have no experience, you may have to start from the bottom, but there’s nothing scary or shameful about it.
A good employee will quickly be noticed, supported, taught.
Believe in yourself and everything will work out.
Soon you will not just be able to feed and dress yourself, but also allow yourself good cosmetics, rest, any entertainment.
What to do if the husband went to his mistress, and you have common children
If you have a child and, perhaps, not even one, remember, first of all, you are a mother, and then an abandoned spouse.
When parents break up, for children it is always unbearable stress. Spare their feelings, do not tear evil on them, do not tune against the father and his new woman.
If their couple turns into a family, it will be difficult for children to make contact with their stepmother, knowing from their mother’s words what a rare bitch and reptile she is. Relations with the father will inevitably spoil, and this will make the children only hurt, because they love him no less than you.
Do not try to manipulate a man with the help of a child.do not prohibit the meeting. Remember, dads do not know how to love children from a distance, quickly forgetting about fatherly duties. Do not insult your spouse with a child, do not focus on unfulfilled promises, do not undermine paternal authority. Perhaps someday you will need the help of an ex-husband in raising a grown child, but a son or daughter will no longer take his father with due respect.
Husband went to his mistress, how to get him back to his family
Husband left you, but are you still waiting for his return? Believe me, there are a lot of chances that you will reunite again.
According to statistics more than half of the men return to the family after leaving their mistress after a while. To make it happen that way, do not try to prove anything to your husband, do not meddle in his relationship with the new woman.
Take care of yourself and your life. Go ahead without thinking about the past, strive for lofty goals.
Perhaps the time will come, and the man himself will understand that by stupidity he has lost the best woman in his life. And then you will decide whether you need reconciliation.
The main thing, manage to forgiveotherwise the family reunion will have no meaning.
